God knows!!!

As I sat staring out the window, trying to figure out the feelings that were rumbling around in my heart and head, I started to feel very alone.  These were things I really couldn't share with anyone.  Feelings that came from deep inside.  Feelings that, if voiced, would be judged.  Would maybe even be condemned.  It felt like there was no one who could understand the agony of emotions curled up in a tiny ball, and imbedded in my very being.  No one would get it. 

As I stared at the tall lonely pines in our back yard, the feeling of isolation, sadness, loneliness settled in.  I didn't want it to take root there.  But who would understand?  IF I even dared voice my feelings, who would even understand the anxious thoughts that lay there, taunting me?

So I prayed.  I prayed that God would take the tangled mess of emotions and hold them.  Heal them.  I unleashed the emotions I was scared to vocalize to others - to God.  He knew them before they left my lips, but I emptied my heart to Him.  As I lay my fears, my agonies before Him, a chickadee landed on the railing of the deck.  The feeder was empty.  Nothing left.  As I watched it disappear into the pine trees, I happened to see it sitting on an outer branch cracking something.  A seed. Where had it come from?  Certainly not the empty bird feeder.  Perhaps a stash of seeds left by a hungry squirrel.  But that chickadee had it's food.

And as I thought about the little scenario played out, I was reminded of the verse in Matthew. 

Matthew 6:25, 26 (MSG) “If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

 

I count, far more to God, than even those tiny little birds!!! There is nothing that I can struggle through that God doesn't care about.  There is no hurt, no ache, no burden that God doesn't see.  He notices them all.  He cares for them all.  He understands, no matter how crazy I think my emotions are.  He gets it.  He knows.

 

Psalm  56:8 reads: You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.

It is so comforting that, even when I can't make sense of the struggles I'm feeling, God knows.  He gets it.  And I can always always go to Him, because He loves me.  He cares for me.  He aches for me.  

 

 We all know the verse: Cast all your cares on Him (God) because He cares for you.  Not an easy verse to conquer, but a comfort none the less. God cares for us.  And He wants to hear our aches.  He wants to have us unload those burdens on Him.

 

So remember with me today, won't you?  God knows.  And He cares.  He's waiting to wrap His loving arms around us and comfort us.  And say, "I get it!!  I know your pain.  Remember, I am right there with you!!!"